What Should I Call This Feeling?  Yuki x Tohru
by HitachiinElephant
Summary: Yuki Sohma begins to question his relationship with Tohru the day of the Endurance Run and the night before. Does his moderate asthma attack help him seperate his mind from his heart? Yuki x Tohru


What Should I Call This Feeling?

Yuki x Tohru

I stood outside the local market, waiting for Miss Honda to finish her shopping. After what happened last time, I was careful not to go inside. I was lucky no one saw me that time. A few feet beside me stood a stupid glaring cat.

"What is it, you stupid cat?" I sighed, grinning slightly as I turned to face him.

His temper was short, as always. "Wipe that smug little smirk off your face before I come over there and do it for ya. Yeah, you'll be sorry then, won't ya? And I'll make you say it."

"I'm sorry."

"SHUPT UP! You're a real wise-ass, you know that?"

I felt sorry for the surrounding civilians who had to listen to this rambling. "At least _I'm_ not the noisy idiot causing a scene in front of the store."

Kyo rolled up his sleeve. "Oh, you've done it now, girly boy! We're taking this outside!"

"We're already outside, you stupid cat." Sometimes, I wonder just how stupid he can get.

Just then, Miss Honda came out. "Sorry I took so long!" She smiled like she always does. And what a lovely smile it was.

I now ignored Kyo, turning my full attention to Miss Honda. "Ah. Find everything you needed?"

Before long, we were heading home, each of us carrying a bag. The stupid cat, of course, had to bug me about how much he hated my guts and so on.

"Do you have to walk so close to me? I'm already pissed off as it is that I have to be out here with you." I kept my head down, not daring to encourage him to a fight.

"So why did you come?"

In fact, it was a good question. Miss Honda announced earlier that morning that she would be shopping, and I volunteered to go with. Lately, I have been wanting to spend so much time with her. I couldn't exactly figure out why, though. Of course, she agreed and we were heading out, when Kyo happened to look over the edge of the roof.

"Hey! Tohru, wait up!" He didn't seem to notice me until he ran up next to her. I gave him a single glare before looking straight ahead again.

Even through the silence between everyone as we walked home, I could still feel that cat's eyes burning into me while I looked forward. "You know, you are starting to get on my nerves." Again.

He suddenly dropped the bag and was ready to fight in less than a second. "Oh, yeah? Then why don't you try to do something about it, girly boy-?"

I let him have that moment to try and taunt me before I stuck a small bundle of leeks into his mouth. He deserved much more than that, but leeks were enough for now. Besides, I didn't want to make a scene. Not in front of her.

"There. That should keep him quiet for a little while." I was satisfied enough, even though I worried Miss Honda a bit. I really didn't mean to. I just needed to silence him. A quiet cough rose from my throat, but I didn't worry too much about it.

"Hey, I'm out of the tub! Who's in next? Yuki?

I sigh, staring at the television yet paying no attention to what was on. "I think I'll skip it today."

Of course, Shigure had to make a dramatic scene about it. "How can you stand to be so dirty?"

"Just once, I'd like to knock him through the roof." Just once… Maybe twice. _Maybe_.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. "Are you feeling okay?"

I hesitated a moment. "Well, no. I think I'm coming down with a cold."

"Eh? A cold?"

Suddenly, her warm hand was on my even hotter head. I could feel the rest of my face warm up rapidly from her touch. All this caught me by surprise.

"You _do_ have a bit of a fever." She sat back down, watching me carefully. I raised my own hand to my head, partially to cover the blush I felt on my cheeks.

The rest of the world seemed to quiet around me. My mind raced from my reactions. Why did I blush when she felt my forehead? Why did I want to be with Miss Honda so much? I had so many unanswered questions.

"Maybe you should stay home from school tomorrow," she suggested.

"No, I'm alright." There was no way I was going to miss another day with her. I felt a need to protect her at all times. "It won't have to come to that."

She pressed on. "Are you sure? We are supposed to do our endurance run."

I barely heard Shigure talking as he dug for the medicine. Like I said, the rest of the world seemed to be quiet. I could only hear the voices of Miss Honda and myself-

"An endurance run, huh?" And that stupid cat's as well. Seems my quiet world was now shattered by his idiotic voice.

She stared up at him in his tough pose. "Yes. You mean you didn't know?"

"The endurance run. A set distance. A certain time to beat. In other words, it's a race!" I could only imagine the look on his face. Something like an insane man. "Alright, rat boy. Tomorrow, we're gonna find out who's the fastest!"

"Um, Kyo, Yuki's starting to come down with a cold." She was trying to keep me home, I knew it. But she was also protecting me from his need to beat me at something.

But of course, he wouldn't give in. Not even to her pretty face. "So you better give him something to eat and put him to bed. He's not getting out of this one."

Kyo turned and left, celebrating his victory-to-come. I did my best to ignore him, looking straight at Shigure, who turned with the medicine in hand. "Here. Take one of these. And, all joking aside, remember, strain your body too much, you'll transform. Don't overdo it."

"I know," I sighed.

That night, as I lay wide awake, my earlier thoughts return. I tried answering them the best I could.

Why did I blush when she felt my forehead? A coincidence. My fever could have just been rising again. Otherwise, I just imagined it because of the heat from her hand.

Why did I want to be with Miss Honda so much? Simple. We have become friends. Don't all friends want to be together so much?

Why do I feel so protective of her? Again, we were friends. Friends are protective of each other… _Right?_

My mind told me I was right, but my heart said no; that there was more. So much more that I needed to know, to hear, to see…

To _feel_.

"Hey, Yuki," her tender voice greeted as I readied myself for the run. I looked up to see her, not smiling. She was still worried about me. "How are you feeling today?"

I smiled a little, trying to reassure her. "Don't worry. I think I'll manage." A glimpse of orange hair reached the corner of my eye as I stood. "Besides, if I don't do this, that stupid cat will never let me hear the end of it." Seeing her worry at the sight of Kyo's stupid face, I changed the subject. I wanted to see her smile before we went separate ways. "You know, I don't believe I've seen Miss Uotani today."

"Right," she said, looking back to me. I was glad to see her smiling again. "She thought this would be a good day to skip. Hana's here, though."

Suddenly, the whistle blew and the senpai called out, warning the girls that the run was about to begin for them.

She flashed another smile at me. "Well, gotta run!" she giggled before joining the others.

I smiled back and watched her leave. "Good luck!"

As I waited with the other boys for our turn to start, I thought more about the questions I tried to answer last night. I kept trying to convince myself I was right, but, again, my heart interfered, trying to tell me I wasn't. I stood there, just staring at the ground, trying to sort out my feelings and thoughts. Trying to keep them apart so I wouldn't confuse them.

I was so focused on this task, I almost missed the gunshot. The cat and I glanced at each other while the others started jogging.

"You're going down, girly boy!"

"Very original, idiot."

With that, we both sped off, quickly catching up and passing the others.

Once we ran into Hatsuharu, I felt a sudden weight lifted off my shoulders. I found it was Kyo's need to defeat me, most likely changing to a need to teach Haru a lesson or two. Moments later, after we moved to a safer place, the stupid cat brought out Black Haru. Just what everyone wanted. I really didn't want Miss Honda to see Haru like this. I would rather never have her see him like this, especially with Kyo.

"That idiot. He just _had _to go and bring out Black Haru."

"B-Black?" She seemed a little frightened. Or maybe surprised. I wasn't sure anymore.

"Haru's pretty easy to get along with, but once he snaps, he's out of control. That's our nickname for him when he's like this. Black Haru."

She still seemed pretty nervous. "So, uh, what you're saying is he's got the same sort of temper as Kagura?"

"Not at all." Once Kyo was down, Haru wasted no time to take my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him.

"I'm saying he's a thousand times worse."

"Yuki," he smirked, his voice wicked like always when he goes black, "Are you comfortable enjoying the show? Hope so, cause I'm coming for you next!"

"Oh, is that a fact?" I questioned blandly. I heard her whimper nervously beside me.

"GET UP, KYO!" He wasted no time going back to the stupid cat. This gave me more time to think, but with all the noise and the confusion of my feelings and thoughts, I couldn't process a single one. So, instead, I watched the two fight each other.

"You know, this could go on for hours. We really don't have to stay." I really didn't want to anyway. After all the fights I've had with Kyo, I became bored quickly.

"But…"

She didn't continue, so I observed their fighting, both of them soon coming to forceful pushing. Suddenly, something left that Haru's mouth that I wish didn't.

"You know, just for that, when I'm done with you, I'm gonna take your little girlfriend!"

"What the… You're gonna what?" My thoughts exactly.

"Oh, you know. I'm gonna do a little of this and a little of that. And I'm definitely gonna do _that_."

Anger raged inside me. I didn't exactly know what he meant by this and that, but I was sure I didn't want to know. What ever it was, I didn't want him to do anything to Miss Honda. I would protect her from Black Haru even if it took my own strength away.

There it was again. My feelings mixing with my thoughts. I just couldn't understand.

I reminded myself, though, that Haru most likely didn't even know what he was saying. He was like that most of the time when he went black. I calmed down and watched the two once more.

"Miss Honda, this will take a while. You should really head back."

She still stood. "But… Shouldn't we at least try to stop them?... Excuse me!-"

"Let's leave them alone, Miss Honda." I didn't want her to get between the two. The only outcome was her getting hurt, and I wouldn't be able to bear it if she did. "It's best to let them fight it out. It's what they want. Besides…" I smiled at her, hoping to make her less nervous. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not be the one who stands between them. It's a little risky."

The fighting dragged on. Haru began to dangerously taunt Kyo.

"I am seriously gonna murder you!"

"He's not serious," I assured her, hearing the faint gasp.

She still seemed worried. "But… Look at him. I've never seen Kyo fight like this!"

"Yes, well, against Haru, Kyo _does_ seem a little stronger. If you ask me, they're both a couple of fighting fools. They've been studying martial arts since they were-" Another cough. Damn, it was getting annoying. "Since they were…" Suddenly, breathing became difficult for me. It was all so sudden, I collapsed on my hands and knees.

Haru came rushing to me. "Is it an asthma attack?... And you have a fever, too, don't you? You know you're not supposed to overdo it when you're sick!" I felt his jacket over my shoulders as I gasped for air. "Go call the main house and hurry."

At those words, I grabbed Hatsuharu's ankle, trying to catch his attention. He looked down at me to see me, my face begging him not to alert the main house. Anything _but _alert the main house.

I was only able to look up a second before I looked down again, coughing. It hurt so bad.

"Yuki!" I could feel my face flush scarlet as she bent down beside me. It was kind of nice having a friend like Miss Honda. Just like before, the world around me grew quiet, although this time I wasn't sure if it was natural or if I was starting to black out. It felt pretty natural. Either way, I was a little happier.

"But we have to do something! I'll do anything!"

Anything. She would do anything… For me?

On the way home, I had fallen asleep, my breathing still pretty harsh. As I slept, I thought about the last 24 hours.

"Maybe you should stay home from school tomorrow."

"How are you feeling today?"

"But we have to do something! I'll do anything!"

"I'll do anything!"

She would do anything for me. She was really worried for me. She was worried, not just for my health, but for me as a whole. To think, after all this time, after I've vowed to protect her, I found she would do anything for me…

She would protect me as I would her.

Things were starting to make sense now. My feelings were beginning to slowly separate from my thoughts. Everything was becoming clearer.

I opened my eyes to find Haru and Miss Honda, waiting for me. "Miss Honda…"

That smile. Though I saw it while I was out, it would never be as lovely as the real thing. "Hi. Welcome back."

I smiled back, when suddenly I remembered what happened. I shot up. "That's right! I was… I hope I wasn't any trouble."

"No! It's alright!"

"But how… How did I get here?"

"Hatsuharu transformed and carried you on his back."

I looked up at the ox, slightly in surprise. I hesitated a moment. "Why, thank you. It must've been a sight."

"N-No, I-I didn't mind at all." He seemed pretty nervous. Of course he was. "You were asleep by the time we got home and since then, I've been telling Tohru the story about why I like you."

I gave him a slight glare. "What? Is that the only thing you could think of to talk about? I at least hope you didn't bore her with too many details."

He spoke like a child trying to get out of trouble. "She seemed interested."

"Hm."

Miss Honda smiled, trying to break the tension between us. "It's okay! It was a very nice story, Prince… Yuki."

"Well, don't pay attention to Haru. He-" I finally noticed what she had said. The reason I transformed, I haven't a clue. I hear the words all the time in school with that fan club, but when she says it… I don't know. My heart seemed to skip a beat once or twice and my face grew a dark shade of red, from the tip of my nose to my round rat ears.

I gently landed on the bedding as Tohru panicked slightly. "You see? It doesn't work at all when I say it." A giggle could be heard through those few tears she lost.

For once, I was actually pretty happy I transformed. I understood now why my feelings and thoughts were scrambled together… For the most part, anyway. I waited until most of my blush had disappeared before I stood and patted her on the cheek. "It's alright, Miss Honda. It's not your fault." I shot Haru a quick glare before looking back to Miss Honda. "It's not your fault at all." It was mine. But the question I still had to answer… That one question that will bother me until I find a true answer, one that will be accepted by both mind and heart…

What should I call this feeling?


End file.
